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Tag: memories

#SOL24-13 Strands

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
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of teacher-writers!

When my granddaughters play with Mardi Gras beads, the necklaces invariably get all tangled up together, into one big mash up of colorful plastic, where it is nearly impossible to find a beginning string or a way to separate them. The girls always bring the mess to me and sit right at my elbow as I struggle. There is no right way to approach the glob; any strand can be pulled out, in any order. When order is resumed, it is often mere minutes before the girls have tangled them up again. I’ve wondered if maybe this is the point of the girls’ play, to purposefully tie these chains up into each other, just to watch me fuss, taking them apart. 

Yes, I hid the necklaces in a cabinet after one long morning of this “fun” recently.

Where to begin a short introductory story on Hilton Head Island and me? My many memories and reflections are similar to that knot of beads. I’m here and I’m lost in thought, trying to tease things apart. 

Should I tell you how I first visited here when I was in grad school at the University of South Carolina, how my grandmother’s cousin had bought a home here on the ‘old, established’ part of the island, and she welcomed me for a weekend? I remember feeling so out of place, in this quiet, secluded, beautiful beach location. It felt far too fancy for me. 

Is there a necklace strand for before the island’s development? What is the history of this place? Who were the indigenous peoples? Who were the Black slaves who worked the plantations?

There’s now a strand for the Gullah people, buried in the cemetery we happened upon, that I wrote about yesterday

There’s another strand of necklace, with my parents retiring here, buying that cousin’s home, when she and her husband needed to move into assisted-living in their frail, elderly years. My parents had many happy years here, far from all five of their children/families, enjoying their independence and the beauty of this island. 

Tony and I did make many happy spring break trips here with the boys, over the years.

Notice the strand, always present, of how uncomfortable I was that the community was “gated,” only for owners and their guests, and almost everyone was white.

There’s a strand where my parents encounter their own health crises, how Mom aged into dementia and Dad into Parkinson’s, a ten year period where we ‘kids’ made countless depressing trips to offer additional care. I lived closest to them, some ten hours north. Finally, my parents moved into assisted-living near my brother, in Maine. Oh, and then we had the ugly task of clearing out their home here and putting it up for sale, leaving us all a good bit soured on ‘life on the island.’

This week’s vacation features a strand where we pedaled by my parents’ old home and it’s been completely transformed and is now a rental property that we cannot afford to lease. All the beautiful landscaping that my father tended daily – well, that has been eliminated and replaced by a pool. 

When our vacation week ends, I wonder if all these melancholy musings will be back up on a shelf, like those Mardi Gras necklaces.

starfish stranded
weeping for its ocean home
died alone
while all the tourists oohed and aahed
at their find
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Piano Love

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

My husband just returned from a sentimental solo trip to Georgia, to inspect and play his mother’s piano, newly-refurbished. 

The piano was purchased in 1913, in Rome, Georgia, at McBrayer Furniture, when Tony’s mother (we call her “Mimi”) was an infant. Mimi was given piano lessons as a young child, and ended up being the only one in her family who continued to play. She absolutely loved to play the piano, and it brought lifelong joy. 

Mimi acquired this family piano after her parents died. Several of her children learned to play piano, too. Tony never had formal lessons, but learned by ear, and he has always enjoyed this pastime. He has many fond memories of the family piano, especially listening to his mother sing as she practiced playing hymns. Tony’s father was a minister, and Mimi supported his ministry by playing the piano at church services.

It’s a very ‘old’ piano – but its value is mostly sentimental. Here’s a piano story that is a family legend: during the 1960s, Mimi noticed that a couple keys were sticking and a few others were missing their ivory key tops. She decided to have the piano repaired, and was heartsick when the repair shop removed all the original ivory key tops from the piano and replaced them with plastic. Mimi never trusted having the piano serviced again. 

After Tony’s parents died and their home was sold (circa 1995), the piano was moved into the recesses of a loved one’s basement – “for the short term.” Well, there it sat, lost and forgotten, for many, many years. A few years ago, this relative’s house was sold – and the question of what to do with the old piano jumped back into the forefront of our minds. 

There are certain objects that hold a family’s love; this piano is one. 

Tony and his niece decided to have the piano refurbished, a process that took two years. Tony was so excited to sit and play it, once again. He says it sounds wonderful. Tony definitely shed a few tears as he played the piano, thinking about his mother, his father, and his childhood. 

The piano will live in Georgia, at our niece’s home.

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SOLSC #25 – Photo Album

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

Stuff, stuff, stuff. We are still going through my parents’ stuff, even some three years after my father’s death, some five years after my mother’s. My brother recently dropped off another box of things at my house (I wrote about the old dolls of my father’s earlier this month); today, I started to weed through some of the photographs. 

What to do with all these photographs? There is one very large manila envelope, stuffed with small photos; there are folders with larger photos. Mind you, my brothers and I went through family photos at the time of our parents’ deaths. I already brought home so many, and tried my best to sort through them or, at least, box them up and put them in a new corner. 

I need to find that box and add in these photos. I just can’t deal.

In the midst of these loose photos was an album. Curious, I flipped this open, only to find that it was filled with photos of our Navy quarters at Portsmouth Naval Shipyard, in Kittery, Maine. This was a very impressive home, built in the 1700s. Let me show you a picture from the album:

The photos in the album are dated 1981, which is the year we moved from these quarters, when Dad was transferred to another shipyard. The entire album is still photos of every room in the house. Honestly, that is all that is in this album – photos of every room, captured from four or five different angles. There are no words of explanation and no people in any of the photos, whatsoever.  It is like a sterile real estate advertisement, something that is rather unnecessary when the only people who live in this house are assigned to live in this house. 

The house is historical, and the Navy already has a published book about the home, one that is also in the pile of stuff from my parents. Yet, someone – Dad? – went through every room of the house and took a photograph, and made a photo album. 

To remember what, exactly?

The memories it taps for me are some of my saddest ones. I was in college when we lived in this house, so I only lived there during school breaks. My parents’ marriage at this time was filled with acrimony, with a cold emphasis on ‘giving one another the silent treatment.’ My brothers and I were never privy to what their strife was all about, we simply had to live through it, in it, alongside it, with them. It is by no means a period of my life that I want to memorialize – except to remind myself how not to treat my loved ones.

This photo from the hallway looking into the dining room, I imagine this caption:

the polished 
glistening dining room 
it always sat empty while
Dad and Mom held silent and apart
and we all walked on eggshells

What to do with this dang photo album? 

Find a bigger box, and put it up and away, until my head is in a different space for dealing with such blues.

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