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Tag: meditation

To Be Last

For the Spiritual Thursday prompt this month, Robert Hamera asks, ‘How then do we slow down?,’ especially in the midst of our challenging world and its rapid changes. How do we not get caught up in the franticness of what is going on around us? ​​Check out his thoughtful reflections on this theme, and read the comments on his post for links to other writers and their responses. 

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The very question “How then do we slow down?,”  implies that we should slow down – and I totally agree. I have lived with myself long enough to know almost instantaneously when I am becoming too immersed, wound up, caught up in an overwhelming situation – and that everything I am doing is not helping to ‘solve’ whatever is wrong. How do I recognize this? I feel it in my body, recognizable in my inability to sit still, my pinball attention span, my reckless cravings for sugar and salt, and my general fatigue that is not nourished by a nap. Most painfully, I hear it in my voice, flagged by my short-tempered, rapid, sometimes sarcastic exchanges with loved ones. All these signs tell me that I have let larger, unsettled challenges take center stage inside me, at the expense of myself. I need to stop. Slow down. Breathe. Put aside whatever the BIG UGLY is, and take care of me. Give myself space.

What fills me with awe is that when I give myself space – permission to slow down, to not focus on the overwhelming but instead center on that which is right there in front of me – the challenges become less so. Always. I take myself out of the equation, and, in so doing, I fortify myself. Always. 

I read this Bible passage, recently –

But do not ignore this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like one day. - 2 Peter 3:8 (NRSV)

I find this verse both formidable and calming. It is a paradox. To me, it says – live with the understanding that what we do will echo through time, live with the understanding that this time in which we live is not the center of everything or anything, live with the understanding that what we do today matters very much, live with the understanding that what we do matters not at all. Yes, and. 

It is definitely helpful to spend time in quiet meditation after reading that! 

As a retired teacher, I am able to heed the need for slowing down on a much more regular basis. It is amazing to have this time and space, to quiet myself enough to be more fully present. An introvert by nature, it is a joy to begin my day very slowly and quietly. The first moments of my day are spent in quiet contemplation, with journaling and readings, a mix of meditations, prayer, and poetry. 

I try to slow down enough to write a poem from my journaled musings, to ‘catch my thoughts.’ Here is the poem I wrote this morning, as I studied a tree outside my window. I think it fits quite nicely with this theme of “slowing down.” (I wish I had taken a photograph of this tree in the morning light – perhaps I will tomorrow morning, and add it to this post.)

to be last

autumn turning to winter
bowing offering genuflecting
the ground is cold and brown
all the leafing trees are bare 

except this one dear oak 
who holds tight
unable to let go 
the morning sun mingles and kisses
dazzling her leaves a bright amber
her branches yield to the rippling wind
and offer a friendly wave, as if to say 
hello! good to see you!

this one dear oak is nestled
by three evergreens, who 
she towers above yet leans into 
resting on the conifers’ shoulders
conversing affectionately, whispering
you are who I want to be near 

is she keeping her plumage to be
like her friends, the evergreens? 
is she aware that others have moved on?
it is both pleasure and precious 
to be last

secret lives of trees? not really
they are lived in the open
if we only we pause to see

Night Sounds

The afternoon sun on the Cacopan River in West Virginia

I found myself wide-awake both nights of the retreat, this past weekend. I lucked into the bottom bunk due to my timely arrival, but it did little to assist my being comfortable in the narrow unfamiliar cot. I was alone awake, in a bunkhouse with other women, listening to the sounds of the darkness from within and outside. 

I was fascinated by everyone’s breathing noise. Spellbound. Listening. Yes, we are women of a certain age, and we are no longer delicate in our sleep. A shift in our sleeping positions and here comes the whinnying, gasps, and snorts. My husband has nudged me many times for my snores, poking me when I am sound asleep, encouraging me to move from my back to my side or my belly, so that he might return to quiet. As I lay awake in the bunkhouse, I delighted in the variety of these sounds, and the ‘call and response’ nature – it was as if women called out to each other under the veil of night, offering a secret conversation. 

bunkhouse reverie

conversations continue
in the dark of night
snorts and snarls
chokes and spurts
gasps and growls
intermittent coughs
an airplane landing?
a leaf blower cranked?
unknown beast?
she settles and all goes quiet,
then she answers from across the room
stops and starts 
call and response
symphony of seniors

As I settled into this uncertain concert, I let go of the sounds within the cabin and honed in on the night noise outside, in the wood surrounds. I became transfixed by this unknown warble, an unfamiliar animal trill – was this a bird or a four-legged friend? It sounded musical, like a gentle shake of a maraca, a call emitted from deep in the being’s throat. The sound varied in length, as if conversational phrases – varying from 3-4 seconds to nearly 20 seconds at one point. Who’s out in the woods in West Virginia in the middle of the night? 

Over breakfast, I tried to describe what I heard, but no one seemed to know what animal it might be. There was no way to solve this mystery during my retreat, because we were very much ‘off the grid.’ As soon as I returned home, I began to investigate online, looking up what animals live in this region and what sounds they make. Isn’t the internet the most fabulous tool? I’m excited to say, I did find the source of the beautiful sound: the eastern screech owl. (I really like this YouTube link because you can watch the owl as they make the sound.)

“Observe and reflect, become a little wiser every day.”
- so sayeth an unknown owl
It’s Tuesday and I’m participating in the Slice of Life.
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers,
for creating this supportive community of teacher writers.

titters unknown

listen
do you hear it
this light soft twinkle sprinkle wink of a sound
through the air?
tender happy titter
carried through the breeze 
early morning rain 
here on the porch
I am riveted
listening
is this birds in the distance?
sweet giggles of feathered friends
hiding in bush or tree
or perhaps it is simply
wisps of someone's music
many houses away
carried by the wind?
how beautiful this rain
falling
soaking
luring
carrying sweet melody
is it the tiny wind chimes
held within the redbud's bare branches?
autumn breeze setting music free 
tickling rain
jiggling rain
waking rain
it is lovely to hear
listening

oh wait
what's this?
here in my pocket, my own pocket
right at my heart
oh my,  it's my cellphone
reminding me
to slow down stop listen
oh how silly I am!
not bird not wind not others
but preset chimes

listen

hahaha
how I make myself laugh

I tend to be an anxious person, getting caught up in ‘worries’ or ‘must do’s’ that lie ahead. A few months ago, I set meditation reminders on my phone, to sound a pleasant chime a couple times a day. These chimes allow me to go quiet for a moment and pay attention to what is happening at that very moment in the world immediately around me: what do I hear, see, feel, smell, observe? This particular morning, I totally forgot about the preset sound on my phone, and became totally engrossed in the sounds I was hearing. I guess this means the meditation alarm really worked? Certainly, I slowed down and listened. So fun!

It's Tuesday and I'm participating in Slice of Life. 
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers,
for creating this supportive community of teacher writers.