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Make a Cake

Published on October 25, 2022

How does one set up a new kitchen?

This has been my fun problem over recent days. Our remodeling is 95% done, with only a smattering of small tasks – the infamous ‘punch list’ – remaining. I have tried to be slow and patient in my arrangement of the new space, so that everything is placed in the most functional and efficient location. Sometimes, I admit, this thinking and planning goes on too long – I am simply paralyzed. (What’s that work expression – ‘paralysis by analysis’?) My spices, for example, are in shoeboxes in the front room of the house, where I have had them since the remodeling began – I am thinking too long and too hard about where they would best be placed.

The work of setting up my new kitchen took one giant step forward this past weekend when I decided to bake a cake for a small backyard gathering at a neighbor’s house.

Here ensued my remodeling/new kitchen version of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie –

If you decide to make a cake,

you will remember your dear neighbor Leta and her yummy pumpkin cake…

you will search for the recipe
you will hold it in your hands 
see her handwriting
remember, remember, remember
how Leta and Joe would be outside 
early morning when it snowed
shoveling our shared driveway
my goodness, they were shoveling into their 80s
oh, how she tended to her garden  
divided up plants in the autumn
shared them with us
how they loved our boys
how kind and generous they were
such great neighbors 
it seems like just yesterday
though it has been more than fifteen years 
since they lived next door

Then you’d know, YES, you have to make THIS cake.

When you decide to make this cake, you are going to need to find your mixer…

which means you’ll have to go up in the attic crawl space 
work your way through box after box 
things stored for the past many months
which means you have to change clothes
put on your grubbiest ones
because you will be walking on your knees
and while you are in there
you need to make sure you don’t 
open any of the memory boxes 
you will start reading and devouring and 
never leave the attic crawl space 
time’s a wastin’ 
so stay focused
please be sure to watch your head 
you don’t need to smack yourself on the low ceiling.

Even though you promise to stay focused, you will find so many other treasures that you really should bring downstairs, too …

there’s the rest of your plates and bowls 
oh my, more drinking glasses 
yes, let’s bring these down
wash them up while the cake is cooking
don’t forget the mixing bowls 
measuring cups 
stirring spoons
more

Gather all these treasures …

you will make countless trips 
up the stairs and down the stairs 
alternating between standing and crawling and 
bending like Houdini 
you will decide that this is your exercise for the day
you will feel tired
though 
you haven’t even started to bake the cake 
or wash any of the items

and as you begin to bake and wash…

you will collect dry ingredients from the front room
where they’ve been stored since the remodeling began
you will realize that you shouldn’t put them back there
it is high time 
to put them 
on shelves, in drawers, in cabinets
which means 
you should measure and cut the shelf liners 
you bought earlier in the week

As you begin to measure and cut the shelf liners …

you will see 
your neat, sterile, brand new kitchen 
now covered in a melee of things
the flour and sugar
the bowls and mixer
the scissors and liner
there is barely a free spot and 
it is awesome 
to be here all by yourself
singing
planning
moving
creating
playing

When the cake is mixed, you will realize you never retrieved the bundt pan…

which is in that darn attic crawl space
so there you are again
bending crawling finding
up and down those stairs
washing drying oiling the pan
pouring in the batter
the oven will be preheated
the cake will begin to cook
the kitchen will smell like autumn
you will smile 
as you work to corral 
all that still needs to be done 
in that busy new kitchen
and see
you have everything you need to set up a baking corner

As the cake is cooking, you will realize in horror that you don’t have the cooling rack…

…so it is back up those stairs one more time…

…into the dark crawl space…

and finally, finally, finally, you don’t need to go up there anymore today. Though, there are more things you’d like to bring down for your kitchen. No, not today…you have made giant strides in setting things up in the new space, and you can leave the rest for other days.

When the cake is cool, you will frost it and slice it …

remembering to make 
a special plate for the fabulous neighbors 
who now live in “Leta and Joe’s house" 
so that they might savor 
a bit of 
this neighborhood memory and magic. 

you’ll bring the rest to the backyard party 
everyone will share their memories
your heart will be full

If you decide to make a cake…

It's Tuesday and I'm participating in the Slice of Life. 
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers, 
for creating this supportive community of teacher writers.

Assurances

Published on October 4, 2022

This is a very exciting week around here. On Thursday, my parents will be interred at Arlington Cemetery. We have waited a long time for this precious day. Dad died two years ago, in early September, in the midst of the pandemic; Mom preceded him in death, dying in October of 2018. Dad was a Navy Admiral, and Arlington Cemetery is his chosen destination.

I live in the D.C. area and have visited Arlington Cemetery several times, but I have never witnessed someone’s burial. We have tons of family and friends coming from out of town, to be present at this unique and special honor.

So, that’s what is “front and center.”

Let me tell you about our staging…about the background scenery…about the “side plots.” Simply put, we’re in the midst of major renovation, here at our home. After almost a full year of discovering, evaluating, and planning fixes for the structural problems of our home, we began construction repairs on August 1st. This involved a total ‘gutting’ of our kitchen. I was not naive about the timing – I knew immediately that the work was so enormous, I should not trust that it would be completed by the time of my parents’ burial. Thankfully, one of my brothers lives in the D.C. area as well, and he was totally fine with taking the lead on all “hosting” duties. We could focus on getting the home repairs that were needed.

This week, we’ve put a moratorium on the kitchen/family room remodeling for Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday – there is simply too much going on with all our visitors (none of whom are staying here at my house, thank goodness, lol). I want to focus on my family, I want to be fully present at the service for my parents, I want to savor all the remembrances.

Months back, before the work began, I smiled at my contractor’s response when I shared this ‘calendar of events’ with him; he assured me that there would be no problem – they’d be done mid-September.

Installation of a steel beam across the room was the most grueling and essential part of the remodeling.

It is an enormous effort, this remodeling; there have been support posts, a steel beam, roof issues, you name it. As the work continued (at a very good pace, honestly), there have been a few setbacks and surprises in the work to be done (isn’t this always the truth, with a home remodeling effort?). Upon several delays, my contractor updated his timeline, saying they’d be done on the last day of September (this past Friday).

All I can say: I am so thankful I have never counted on the work being done this week. There will be NO company at this house! lol

Although it was painful to learn we had structural issues with our home, the beam opened up the kitchen space beautifully.

Look how bright and open the kitchen space became!

As I write, I am sitting at the island/bar of my dream kitchen – beautiful cabinets, counters, floor…let me show you…

I love the natural light from all the windows. I love all the space. I especially love the quartz countertops, having only had laminate counters before.

Unfortunately, my kitchen is basically akin to one you might find on display in a showroom – it looks great but it is not functioning. We’re close, we just aren’t quite there yet.

Yes, we have a faucet, but there is no running water at the sink. All the appliances remain in the living room, not hooked up. All of the drawers along one wall of cabinetry don’t open – which reminds me, when is a drawer not a drawer? When the contractor forgets to order drawer inserts and you must wait for these at a later date. There are endless ‘to do’s’ on a ‘punch list’ – all the little things that get pushed aside while something bigger gets done. Oh, and the guys are struggling to install a new (main) door to the house; it is missing its locking mechanism and we’ve been blockading the door at night for more than a week, to feel ‘safer.’

This past Friday, my contractor assured me that he’d be done today – yes, today, Tuesday. October 4th. C’mon, be serious! There is simply no way! Look at all that still needs doing.

Honestly, I am fine with this. I assured him:

Work at a pace where the work is completed well.
Take all the time you need.
Just don’t show up tomorrow. Or Thursday. Or Friday.
We look forward to seeing you on Monday.

Truth – it already ‘feels’ like I have a new kitchen. It is a great space to sit and write – and it is very quiet, before the workers arrive.

All will be well.

To the day! To the week ahead!

It’s Tuesday and I’m participating in the Slice of Life. Thank you, Two Writing Teachers, for creating this supportive community of teacher writers.

Ending or Emergence

Published on September 27, 2022

What is the monarch chrysalis up to, at this very moment? What’s happening inside here? From my perspective, chrysalises are very quiet. Of course, noise tolerance varies from being to being. Perhaps within the chrysalis, they are packing and moving metaphoric boxes, cleaning and scrubbing surfaces, using special tools to prepare for what is to come?

We are tightly bound in a metaphoric chrysalis these days, wrapped up in just two small rooms on the first floor with limited access to two additional small rooms on the floor above. Our remodeling proceeds at a strong pace, with a solid beam in place across the kitchen and family room (“great room”), new flooring and cabinetry in place, and the plan for new countertops to be installed tomorrow. The end is in sight. We will burst forth into new beautiful living in the very near future.

Yes, and.

I’m feeling edgy, confined, depleted. Trying to keep my heart and hope on the end goal. Washing blueberries in the bathroom gets relentlessly old. Maneuvering around non-working appliances in the living room, wiping dust from surfaces, negotiating plastic-wrapped doorways, yes, it’s reaching a frustrating crescendo. Our stress was all the more heightened when Tony had COVID a few weeks back, leaving us each relegated to two very small and separate places in this chrysalis of a house. I have to remind myself to breathe, stay present, know that good work is being done, and all will be well. Our structural issues have been repaired. We will have a beautiful space in the end. Breathe.

I had a dear and painful conversation with an elderly friend the other day. She and her husband are moving into senior living, a transition deemed long overdue by their children but one that has been so challenging for the two of them to accept. In the midst of her downsizing work, she told me, “I am living through hell.” I tried to comfort, to reassure – yes, the shift itself is dreadful, but there would be comfort and ease in the end. It would be fine. It would be beautiful.

I hope I soothed her – but what good are soft platitudes, really, in the midst of the exhaustion and loss of such transitions?

Is it possible that some similar stress happens within a chrysalis?

Monarchs and their gorgeous journeys are just outside my house, in a small flower bed I have squeezed in between the porch and the driveway. I have been planting this little bed for years, welcoming butterflies and bees and birds and bugs – and allowing me to fawn over all the beings from our porch. I plant a variety of perennials and annuals, lots of happy flowering plants, and I make changes to the bed from year to year. The milkweed was “a volunteer” I uprooted from the edge of my front yard along the road two years ago, and I crossed my fingers that it would flourish in the little flower bed. The milkweed is SO happy in this location.

Up close and personal like this, I have realized why my neighbor told me to move it to someplace less visible – it is a homely plant, the milkweed. It is not wispy and delicate and covered in flowers. It is large and clumsy. I never thought through its wild lifestyle, how tall and floppy it would grow, how it would fall over and try to nudge all the other plants to take leave. I’ve been corralling it into a limited space, forcing it to be a bit more prim and upright than it really prefers to be. The leaves are large and pale green and take on a deathly, depleted yellow cast as summer ends. Most surprisingly, right at my eye level, it appears to have gonads – who wants to look right at these?

Just as I was contemplating the neighbor’s advice…to transplant the milkweed this fall and make it a ‘wallflower’ somewhere in the back of my yard, not center stage in the flower bed…it began to teem with life. Over a dozen monarch caterpillars appeared almost overnight, climbing the stems, crawling on top, under, all around, munching all the while, leaving great, raggedy holes throughout the leaves – it was a monarch party! I have been enjoying every minute of it.

A few days of wild munching and the caterpillars became so plump and large, slowed down, and hung very, very still from various branches, readying for the transformation into chrysalises.

Two dear caterpillars never completed the move to this new stage – I watched these brown and wither, and ants devour them bit by bit. Happy ants.

I have been able to observe six chrysalises – I have no doubt there are others that are hiding from my view. One has formed on my porch railing, oh my! Even the chrysalis is enchanting – sage green in color, with a thin line and several small dots of spun gold that catch the sunlight in this magical way.

Yesterday, the first monarch butterfly appeared. I missed their emergence from the chrysalis, but recognized its slow, stunned wing movement as evidence that the butterfly was new to this world. I watched it flutter (tremble, really) along the porch wall for many minutes, and then it flew away. I know there will be more butterflies in the days to come – perhaps even today.

Milkweed is a plain, galumph of a plant and it is a bastion of beautiful life. Yes, and. I’m keeping it front and center in my garden. What a welcome source of joy in the midst of life’s many transitions.

It’s Tuesday and I’m participating in the Slice of Life. Thank you, Two Writing Teachers, for creating this supportive community of teacher writers.