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Month: October 2023

The Messy Mix

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

This is the way I always heard it.

Preacher Jim shared the word of the Lord with all who would listen, and never could make enough money for his family through his sermonizing alone. He’d preach here or there in small country churches throughout Georgia and he had a brief tenure as church pastor in a couple small churches, but each of these had only a very few (and poor) congregants and the donations were scarce. Preacher Jim’s dear family was  a large one, with thirteen children born over the course of twenty-five years – many mouths to feed, many bodies to dress, and a house to take care of and keep warm in the wintertime. So Preacher Jim took on any additional good job that he could find. He was a hard worker and skilled, a ‘jack of all trades.’ He worked as a tenant farmer for several years, in a couple different locations, growing and harvesting corn and cotton. He worked for a time in a mill. He was a pretty good carpenter and worked at a cabinet shop, and for a short (and non-lucrative) while, he had his own cabinet shop. Throughout all these gigs, his main work was preaching, with a multitude of Wednesday evening services and long Sundays in the pulpit. 

One of the very best jobs he worked was at a local construction site. Preacher Jim was responsible for creating concrete forms – pouring the concrete, letting the concrete set, removing the form, and moving the finished piece across the yard onto railway cars or trucks. The work was grueling but it paid well, and it was good for the family to have dependable money. 

Preacher Jim was able to get one of his sons (Keith) a summer job there at the construction yard. Newly graduated from high school, turning 18 that fall, Keith was so excited to have this work. He was living the dream: a girlfriend, a car, and a little money in his pocket. Life was good.

That day in August, one of the concrete forms was being moved across the yard, tied up with cable, and attached to a small lift or crane of some sort, when all of sudden, the cable snapped.

The concrete form hit the high school grad in the back of the head. 

His dear father, Preacher Jim, was right there as it happened. How to describe witnessing such a horrendous scene, to see his own son killed in this freak accident?

The family. Oh, how they mourned.  

The owners of the construction company sent a huge wreath to the funeral. They made a personal visit to the family, too, promising to keep Preacher Jim on as an employee and asking him not to pursue a lawsuit. In all probability, OSHA safety regulations were broken at the yard that day, for such an accident to occur. A lawyer or two came by the house, with the promise of big money if Preacher Jim would simply agree to hire them, to have them file a lawsuit in pursuit of money for his son, killed in the prime of his life. 

Preacher Jim responded, 

“No. No amount of money will ever bring our boy back.”

This is the way I always heard it. 

I only know my brother-in-law Keith through these stories, 
through his siblings sharing aloud about that tragic day. 
I’ve watched the way this pain lingers in my husband Tony and his siblings. 
The family has grieved deeply over this one unexpected and tragic loss, 
the grief is always.

Tony was two years younger than Keith; they were the best of friends. Marrying into the family so many years after Keith was killed, never having met him and only knowing ‘of’ him, I see clearly how lives – so many lives – were affected by the trauma of his one life lost too young. Even now, so many years later, there is a soft sadness every autumn, at the time of Keith’s birthday; he would be 73 years old.

An ache that never completely goes away.

I’m humbled by Preacher Jim’s commitment to life – his desire to not seek payback, to say, instead, enough is enough. 

Will we ever get to a place where we say, as a society, enough is enough? Might we seek something other than retribution? What would happen if we leaned into the messy mix of love and grief and somehow created a way forward with one another?

Must hurt people hurt people? 

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New River

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

To celebrate my oldest son’s birthday, we had a family getaway to New River Gorge National Park – a weekend of hiking and autumn leaf viewing. This West Virginia park is only about a five hour drive from our home in Maryland, and made for a wonderful location for a few fun days.

Our Friday was misty and chilly, yet quite beautiful for hiking. Let me share just a few of photos –

Much to our surprise – and good fortune – we had an even more special Saturday. We had no idea when we booked our travels that October 21st was the annual Bridge Day.  The New River Gorge Bridge in Fayetteville, West Virginia is the longest single-span arch bridge in the western hemisphere, measuring some 3030 feet with the arch alone measuring 1700 feet. The bridge was completed in 1977; since 1980, there has been an annual festival in its honor.

On this single day, the bridge is closed to vehicular traffic. There is an enormous festival on the bridge, with vendors hawking food and crafts up and down the entire expanse. In the middle of the bridge, gutsy folks base jump off the bridge – which, seriously, has to be one of the most terrifying sports I have ever witnessed. It was wild to watch. Can you find the base jumper /parachute in the photo below? Who would dare to jump from such a height?

We spent a beautiful fall morning walking the bridge and enjoying the sights. Plus, of course, eating – yummy funnel cakes, barbecue, cotton candy, and pizza. Festivals demand that one partake, yes?

Later in the afternoon, we hiked Long Point trail, which allowed us to have a breathtaking view of the bridge from the side. We also enjoyed the surrounding fall foliage and we watched more of the daring base jumpers perform, from a much farther distance.

This is my oldest son (the birthday boy) and his daughter/my granddaughter, watching the base jumpers.

It was a fabulous weekend!

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Feeling Stumped

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

Gardening. This time of year, it can be soft and gentle, with such tasks as the dainty trimming of spent blossoms or a little light weeding between plants. I love to rake leaves into the gardening beds, to decompose over the winter. There’s joy, too, in digging an easy hole for a new plant; fall is a great time to introduce a new perennial. 

This is what I was imagining when Tony suggested we head to our son’s for the day, to see his new front steps and to plant a few perennials from our yard into the adjacent garden bed. Sure! Let’s go plant these and then go for a walk down to that small lake near his house…that’ll be fun!

Not to be. 

Yesterday, we were in the full muck of it, trying to dig up the wily roots and underground stump of a wisteria.  Wisteria is an invasive plant here in the MidAtlantic, known for scaling tall trees and smothering them in gorgeous purple blossoms, basically strangling them to death. They also do great damage to walls and pathways located nearby, with their deep and widespread root system. This wisteria is a big reason why the stairs needed to be redone in the first place. 

A ‘new’ shoot of wisteria caught my eye as soon as I stepped out of the car, growing up through the soil, so innocent and sweet – right alongside the new steps. Supposedly, the contractors “removed the wisteria” – but I had a feeling that ‘removed’ meant simply chopping down, not the necessary ‘digging up and out.’ 

There we were, the three of us, working for nearly four hours – digging, slogging, beating, shattering, lifting, cutting, sweating out this invasive. At least we had good weather! And, good company – it was fun to work together, however unexpectedly. 

Funny, the main roots look so innocent, once they are out of the ground!

So much for popping in a few plants.  Maybe we’ll go for a walk next time. 

I’ll close with a little poetry fun – 

feeling stumped

dirt mud slivers fly
                                             shatter split erupt
                  what a beast this is!
right here right here see
saw cut ax 
dig 
     
     deeper

can we lift it?
break it off?
where does this lead to?

what if we dance, pogo style
jump up and down 
oh no there’s another shoot
                                                                   way over here
get! 
            out! 
                          of! 
                                       here!
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Elusive Balance

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

I went to bed a little after 10 p.m. and slept deeply for ten straight hours, only to wake up feeling oh so crummy. I wanted to snuggle deeper under the covers, and linger in bed, in the quiet, all alone.

I can be a very talkative, ‘engaging’ person with others. I enjoy meeting people and hearing their stories. But, wow, sometimes it hits me full throttle:

I am an introvert

and

must

find

a

cave

and

get

away

from 

all

humans.

Yesterday was one of those days. I had a full and marvelous weekend in the company of 20 women on a church retreat, in rural West Virginia.

The main house of the retreat center (a side view).

The surrounding nature was absolutely lovely – I always feel uplifted when I spend time in this gorgeous environment. The area is very remote with no wifi – which is nourishing, I think. I slept (poorly) in a bunkhouse with six others. I traveled to and from the retreat with two women. Conversations were rich and thought-provoking; it is one of my favorite experiences, to be on retreat. 

However, I didn’t get a moment to myself.

When I got home, I was just in time for a (planned) visit from a very dear childhood friend, who was passing through the D.C. area and able to visit for the afternoon and evening. There I was listening to more amazing stories – and finding myself 

on empty. 

Words and images were sputtering spitting spinning around in my head by the time I went to sleep – and, oh my, how to describe the bliss of laying down in my own cozy bed?

It feels terribly wrong to feel so exhausted from so much goodness.

What a gift it was, to wake up to a quiet Monday with no responsibilities or expectations. Write. Walk. Nap. Be quiet. Sip tea.

A day of renewal. 

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What’s My Subject

It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life." 
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

Years back, when I was part of a ‘new minister search committee’ for my church, someone opined – 

“All ministers have basically five great sermons - 
everything they preach falls into those five themes.”

This thinking stuck with me, leaving me wondering – is that true for my writing, as well? Do I just go round and round, talking over and over about the same thing? 

I have enjoyed Two Writing Teachers’ Slice of Life for many years, where I hone in on some experience from the previous week. As an early childhood teacher, there have been many slices about young children, and now that I am retired, my focus is often my grandchildren. I frequently write about my family, especially time spent with my husband and our travels. I enjoy writing about nature.

I strive to write about something unexpected that has happened, perhaps something as simple as an interaction with a stranger. Overall, I think these personal narratives do fall into five basic themes – 

capturing a moment in the present
how things change over time
looking at things from a different perspective
how to be in community with others
how grief works

and I suppose there is sometimes a 6th, which is a big messy conglomeration of all of the above.

What is the catalyst for this rumination of mine? 
My oldest grandchild is turning 5 this month. 
How in the world have five years gone by? 

Now, I am looking through the past five years of my writing and trying to create a memory book – the poems and essays that I have written about this dear child. I’m not sure if this memory book is for her or me, lol. 

I am just amazed at the passage of time. 

What are your top five topics or themes of writing?

I’ll close with a short poem of this week’s surprise – an unexpected day with our soon-to-be- five-year-old granddaughter, because she was sick.

unwell

tiny feet are wedged against my hip
pinning me to this corner of the couch
she sleeps in a folded z 
holding my hand tightly

the inconsistent rap of her breath
an intermittent low moan 
dark shadowed eyes and sweaty locks of hair
poor sweet miserable one

how many hours of my life have been
intertwined with a sick child
watching the chest move up down
wondering if their symptoms are 
worsening

time 
stands

absolutely

s t i l l

until they are up and running again

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