Skip to content

SOLSC #27 – Not Doing

It is March and time for the 17th Annual Slice of Life Story Challenge!
Thank you, Two Writing Teachers, for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!

We made the commitment to watch two-year-old Bird for the weekend long before my dermatologic procedure was scheduled. I had not imagined that I would be dancing around these (temporary) physical limitations. It’s a good thing that Poppa is her favorite person on earth these days, because he did everything while I faded back. 

Wait, no reaching down and scooping her up, into a big hug? No running laps around the kitchen and family room, chasing one another? No helping her up and down the steps? No reaching for that big heavy thing on the shelf that she simply must look at? No lifting her up onto the bar stool for meals? No wrestling with her about a diaper change? (This last, I accept.)

You don’t realize what you can’t do until you can’t do it.

I didn’t wrestle shoes on her feet, either!

The kids have played adult rec floor hockey for years, he in the men’s league, she in the women’s league, and together in the coed league. So far, they have kept up this healthy pastime even with two young children, carting the girls along to the games, alongside other young families doing the same. It’s their community, and gives them lots of joy. 

Two times a year they have a ‘getaway,’ when they travel to tournaments without the babies, meaning a full weekend babysitting commitment for the grandparents – midday Friday until late Sunday night. (They are home earlier in the weekend if they lose – I’m not ashamed to say that I do find myself rooting for a loss.) 

Even with both sets of grandparents able to help out, this is a big commitment for the babysitters. This past year, they began taking four-year-old Frog to the tournaments with them, which I think is very exciting for her and lightens the load for us. This past weekend, little Bird was absolutely aware that her family was gone without her, and I suspect that she, too, will troop along at the next tournament, six months from now. 

Tony and I met playing rec softball, down on the Mall in Washington, D.C. We continued to play a bit after the children were born, but by the time we had two on the sidelines to manage – well, the desire to play simply faded. Our third child has no memories of Mom and Dad playing softball, that is for sure. Tony and I did a good bit of running as the boys grew, participating in a variety of local low-key ‘races.’ Running is wonderfully flexible, allowing one of us to be out while the other was home with the children. 

Children grow, things change, transitions go on and on. 

You don’t realize what you’re no longer doing until you’re no longer doing it. 

Thank you for visiting my blog.  Clicking the title of any post will open a comment box at the bottom of the page. I love hearing from you.
Published ingrandchildrenpersonal narrativeSOLSC

14 Comments

  1. A great Slice! I like how you dipped into the past to explain and enhance your story of watching your granddaughter. What an athletic family! We have our first grandchild – 7-month-old boy – and are just beginning to do some babysitting.

    • Thank you!! Congratulations on your new grandchild – this is one of life’s very best passages, I think, to have grandchildren!

  2. Glenda Funk Glenda Funk

    Maureen,
    Do your children know how lucky they are to have you and the other grandparents. as a support system? Did you have that when your children were little? It’s not surprising that you could not do the lifting and bending this past weekend. Our bodies change. I hope I’ll be able to run around w/ my grandson as he grows, but I’ve never been much into playing sports. I’m clumsy and visually impaired in ways that simply don’t allow for much beyond individual workouts. Fingers crossed that both girls will be traveling to the next tournament and giving aging bodies a respite.

    • We love being with our grandchildren, and, yes, it was a lot this past weekend. I’m excited to get past this procedure recovery, back to my stronger self. The kids are very appreciative of all of us – they know this is rare, to have so many able and willing hands at the ready. Tony & I did not have this support when our children were little – it is a real treat to be able to watch our grandchildren grow.

  3. Imbedded into the post about the joys and challenges of grandparent-care-giving, a subject I understand well, are the profound statements about not realizing what you can’t do until you can’t do it and your closing lines about not realizing what you are no longer doing until you are no longer doing it. As I heard again and again, the days are long but the years are short. I hugged my 7 year old grandson last night and realized he was more than half way to a teenagers with longer legs and arms…

    • Yes, yes! I think about this, too, Anita. Being older now, I am so aware of how fleeting this time is. We love love love being able to be with these grands. What sheer joy it is to have an intense couple of days of childcare – and then a good number of days of quiet, to ourselves. Life is good!

  4. First, I love the naming of Frog and Bird. And while reading, I first thought you stopped at the diaper-change line. Kept reading to find you were crafting a larger metaphor. Through generations. Makes me reflect- at least the changes required by your procedure are temporary.

    • Thank you, Fran. I am thankful that I am only temporarily encumbered; I will be back to my stronger ways in a short while. I chose “Frog” and “Bird” to ‘free’ myself to share more about these littles, without giving too much away about them – their wise parents do not want them to have a media presence. (But it is hard for this grandmother to not want to fill pages and pages about them, lol.)

  5. First, I love the naming of Frog and Bird. And while reading, I first thought you stopped at the diaper-change line. Kept reading to find you were crafting a larger metaphor. Through generations. Makes me reflect- at least the changes required by your procedure are temporary.

  6. Maureen, what a wonderful slice of your life. I can imagine adjusting to a young child for a long weekend is challenging especially when you’re healing. I broke my ankle in three places and my leg which laid me up for quite a while. Well, truthfully, it is still an issue due to the hardware in my ankle so when you said, “You don’t realize what you can’t do until you can’t do it” I could totally relate!

    • Barb, that sounds like a horrendous break. I imagine it is a long haul to recover from a broken ankle, such an essential part of our body. That must have been a very challenging situation for you. Thanks for commenting!

  7. Kim Johnson Kim Johnson

    Maureen, you are blessed to have such beautiful grandchildren to spend time with, and your children are blessed to have you as active grandparents in their lives. I think it’s wonderful that they travel and you give them a break from the babies. So true when you said you don’t know what you can’t do until you can’t do it…..that’s exactly how I felt when I broke my ankle last fall. Right before my hiking trip to the North Georgia mountains that I had been so excited about. One morning as I tried to get dressed (while I was on crutches, non weight bearing, pre-scooter), I just dissolved into a heap of helpless tears and my husband witnessed a meltdown – – something I just don’t ever do, and sure not where anyone else can see. It really made me grateful that the situation was temporary , and I know that’s how you feel – – counting the days until you can resume life as you enjoy it.

    • Oh my – both you and Barb chimed in about broken ankles! This is such a horrible break, I think. I can’t imagine how hard this is to recover from – I mean, the ankle is so essential in every step we take. I am so grateful my issue is so minor in comparison. To health! Thank you for sharing about this – and I am so glad that you are recovered.

  8. I think it’s neat that they are still playing field hockey. Hopefully they can do it for a long time. Hooray for Tony who was able to take care of most of the care this weekend. How did they do in their tournament?

    I know what you mean about realizing you are no longer doing something until you aren’t. For decades I enjoyed playing softball on our church team when my kids were little; they had fun sitting in the stands and/or running around with their friends from church. There was always a teenager to help, but one time they and some friends called 911 on a pay phone, and we had a bit of an issue. Then today we got a recreation book from our town in the mail, and I saw a summer drop-in softball league. Fun, I thought, but that’s not going to happen! I’m sure I would break something!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *