It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life."
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We both exclaimed at once – “Wait, is that you?!”
We hadn’t seen each other in years. The parent of a former student is now working part-time at my favorite local bookstore. What a small world.
This parent and I, it was mutual adoration, back when her child was in my class. I worked at a ‘cooperative preschool’ then, where family members took turns assisting in the classroom. We got to know one another very well. I loved working alongside new parents, and this particular mom was one of the best – happy, patient, and energetic (pretty useful traits with young children).
I explained that Tony was in the car, waiting outside; I was only in the store a hot minute to grab a book on order, but please, tell me everything! We had a super quick share about our families, how everyone was doing. My goodness, her oldest child – that little preschooler of mine from years ago – is now in college. She was excited to hear about my grandkids, that my oldest son is a father. Then she asked about my other two sons – How old are they now? Are they married?
What is it about this “Are they married?” question that always sends a little shutter down my neck? Honestly, I would love these two children of mine to have loving partners, but … well, it’s not really something I can control, yes? These two are single. Unattached. Not dating anyone ‘seriously.’ (At least, not to my knowledge.) And, I try to be totally okay with this – Tony and I were older when we got married, there is time. Plus, I have many relatives who are life-long singles, living full lives. Maybe ‘marriage’ isn’t in the cards. Isn’t it more important that they simply feel good about their lives, with or without someone dear?
Okay, regarding that above paragraph – I totally spared my “re-found” friend this diatribe; I answered her breezily, saying “They’re both single and loving life.”
Re-found gives me a big smile and says, “Well, bring them here next time – let me introduce you to [the woman] at the cash register, she’s single and just the best. I know your sons are sweet!!” and, in a split second, she pulls this adorable but embarrassed woman into our conversation.
I had quite a laugh about this exchange when I got back into the car with my husband, and more laughter with my sons themselves. Maybe they need a real ‘forward push’ like this? Maybe life is more like a romantic comedy, if we are open to it?
Well, somebody has to arrange the matches, Young people can't decide these things themselves. She might bring someone wonderful---- Someone interesting---- And well off---- And important--- Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a match, Find me a find, Catch me a catch Matchmaker, Matchmaker Look through your book, And make me a perfect match - lyrics from "Matchmaker, Matchmaker," by Jerrold Lewis Bock & Sheldon M. Harnick
Your diatribe about the state of ‘single life’ in our current culture was well done. We do need to recognize that connections may not happen and may not be necessary to live a full life. The incident with the cashier was hilarious. You never know, it could be a match.
Thank you for seconding my diatribe, lol. I do think that the single life is an admirable life – the push should not always be on ‘marrying.’
Maureen, I’m chuckling at the slice today. My awareness of the perfect storm of the chemistry of attraction and all that goes in to it “taking” and sticking is heightened when I think of matchmaking. It’s such a roll of the dice. But then, so is any relationship. My brother was set up on a blind date, and it took. So far, it’s sticking. Go for the romantic comedy….. 🙂
I do love romantic comedies. I think one key part is the desire by both to be together – not simply the mother’s desire that they be together, lol. I think your post about your brother’s love life was a big instigation to me sharing this story – love is in the air!
Ha ha, it strikes me that your mutual affection and trust, even though you hadnt seen each other for years, allowed her to choose a potential wife for your boys!
You told this so well- dashing in, catching up, pulling the wide-eyed cashier into the conversation, laughing later with your husband in the car and you sons. And th e lyrics! Perfect. I was never an effective matchmaker but why not try?
(And I know what you mean about that question, giving you a shudder… me too.)
It would really be quite something, if this proved fruitful. But, all I could do was share the story with my sons – the rest is up to them, lol. Thanks for commenting!
I adore the way you write, Maureen. You completely captivate me through your storytelling. I felt a bit sorry for the girl behind the counter. How many times do you think that happens during any given week? I bet your sons are sweet and who knows about when to push and when not to push. Getting married and having a partner is a big step. I wonder how young people feel about trying to find a life mate anymore.
Barb, I love that you feel sorry for the girl at the counter – wow, we writers really need to think about all perspectives!! Your question, how many times does this happen to her in a week – yikes, I hope I was singled out and she isn’t subjected to this. Thank you for commenting.
How fun that you now have a re-found friend! I was fascinated with my friends in Bahrain from Bahrain and those from Indian, many of whom had arranged marriages. It seemed to me that matchmaking was not all bad! It’s complicated, isn’t it? I love your answer to your friend: “They’re both single and loving life.”
Matchmaking is captivating to me, too – it does seem to work out sometimes. There are many paths to ‘connection,’ I think. Thanks, Denise!
Maureen,
I totally agree w/ your internal monologue. My youngest son, the new father, is 37. There is time. Young people have so much to consider when making decisions about their futures, especially the challenges of bringing babies into this world. Maybe asking if someone is married is just tradition, indoctrination, habit. It’s hard to change our ways. Did you ask if the friend’s college kid is married? Some folks think we’re incomplete w/ out a spouse, but we know that’s not true.
You are such a quick wit, Glenda – I laugh at the idea of asking if her college daughter is married…that would have been a fun retort …I’m going to practice that rejoinder.
I loved reading about this chance meeting of an old friend–you brought the moment to life so vividly with your dialogue and just the right amount of backstory. I loved these lines: “I explained that Tony was in the car, waiting outside; I was only in the store a hot minute to grab a book on order, but please, tell me everything! ” I can just imagine the push-pull between wanting to be quick but wanting to catch up.
Yes, thank you! I was hoping to convey that very “push-pull” – a chance meeting at an awkward time; I wanted to talk longer, but it was not to be. Thanks for commenting!