It is Tuesday and time to write a 'Slice of Life."
Thank you Two Writing Teachers for creating this supportive community
of teacher-writers!
I’ve long forgotten what I accomplished that led to the prize – was it scoring high on a test? I clearly remember how awkward I felt. I was “the new girl” and an introvert, that horrid combination of trying desperately to fit in while seeking to avoid any and all unusual attention. Mr. M called out my name in the middle of math class, to come forward to the front of the room and handed me: a slide ruler. He proceeded to ask me what I loved about math and how I became so accomplished at it, to share my math background with the class. He might as well have asked me to undress in front of everyone. Please oh please oh please, can the floor open up and whisk me underground?
I remember going pale and stammering, my emotions spiraling, and I said something simple such as “I like that there is always one clear answer.” I somehow found my way back to my seat, circumnavigating the room while holding this glaring tool, one that I never ever learned to use. Just like that – in one unexpected whirl of a moment – this teacher had sealed my fate not only as the new girl, but as a nerd. In the 1970s, nerds were not as loved as they are now.
It’s strange to circle back in time to that memory…my own social ineptness and this inability to connect with any of my peers … all the strife at my own home, with my father’s new high-level job at the Navy yard and our hard transition to living on base in Navy housing after ten years in our own suburban home in Norfolk, Virginia…my mother was experiencing severe mental health issues…my brothers and I were ‘on our own’ to figure out this whole new world we were living in, so very different from all that we had known before.
What irrationally pops into your head, making you stew and relive and wonder? Isn’t it strange how moments from the past jump out, and you find yourself rotating the memory in your mind, looking at it all around again, puzzling out different aspects? Or am I the only one who does this?
I did succeed in making one friend that school year, one very, very dear friend. When I think about my closest friends, it’s as if I have one dear friend from all the different time periods of my life:
my high school senior year bestie,
my college bestie,
my grad school bestie,
my first job bestie,
my first child bestie,
my parenting bestie,
my teaching bestie.
I continue to be very, very close to each of these women. They don’t know each other very well at all – though they’ve met on occasion. I wonder, sometimes, if it is strange that I am not comfortable, really, with a group of girlfriends. I am a solitary friend, a ‘one at a time’ friend. Still, they are my circle, my go to, my supports in life.
What else am I spinning about today?
I guess I have jumped around a bit in this slice, with no real pattern.
Do slices have to revolve around one topic?
Well, then, let’s go full circle –
Happy Pi Day!
I was hooked through your entire spinning piece. It worked! The beginning paragraphs could have come from a young adult novel, and I felt the angst. You rounded up your thoughts with a hope and acceptance of yourself. Some people never get to this point. Keep writing. My read was a delight.
Thank you so much! I had a lot of fun writing it. I had so many weird tangents that popped into my mind, once I started thinking about circles. Happy Pi Day!
Maureen,
I’ll start at the end: Brilliant ending this going full circle. I think you did focus on one thing–your swirling mind. That’s a moment in life, a stream of consciousness moment. I read a blog post earlier today about asking for help and am thinking about a moment in school that went sideways; some times what a teacher means to be a positive resonates w/ a student as negative. And like you, I’m a pretty solitary person who isn’t the best at maintaining a large friend group. I suspect we become this way at a young age, but that’s a reflection for another time.
Yes, one wondering I’ve had about that moment was precisely whether the teacher was trying to make me – the new student – feel more welcome, that perhaps he ‘created’ the whole prize idea – but, wow, it landed wrong with me. It was precisely the attention I did not want. Strange how a single moment jumps into the forefront of our minds at unexpected times. Thanks, Glenda!
Happy Pi day to you, Maureen. You are not the only one who has these moments pop up. I have developed a bad habit of swearing out loud to myself when this happens, because the moments that pop up for me are always ones that I felt embarrassed, angry, or upset about. What’s that about anyway? I’m sure there has to be some kind of scientific explanation. I’m sorry you had to go through such a difficult time in life while your mother was suffering.
Swearing out loud is a great release, lol! I do think we tend to perseverate about the wounds, which is just a shame, really. How much healthier I’d be if I could wallow in more joyful moments. Anyhow, I found myself thinking about that slide ruler this morning – which I still have – and how I really never understood how to use it. Thanks for commenting!
Maureen, so cleverly creative – – or dare I say enviously nerdy? (Nerdy is the new sexy, so I’m told). I love that you clarified that nerds were not as understood in the 1970s. I, too, was a “strange child” – a nerdy one. I like what you did with all the randomness and the fun in your slice. I didn’t think about Pi day until lunchtime. ……
Thank you for noticing my playfulness, Kim! I had fun weaving in puns about Pi.
Haha! Maureen, that was precious. Full circle, spinning, irrationally…wow. How did you do that? I didn’t notice all the circling until Happy Pi Day. I love this post. You shared some intimate and lovely memories and things about you, and you celebrated Pi Day with us. (I was wanting to eat a piece of pie today, but your post will do instead.)